Friday, September 30, 2011

How do I get over an Affair in my marriage / relationship ?

How do I get over an Affair in my marriage / relationship ?

Are you finding it difficult to get over the affair of your husband? AND Do you feel that you keep falling back in your attempt to get over an affair of your partner?

We need to understand tha even if we want to forgive our husband and move on to save our marriage or relationship, there could always be something that could keep us reminding of their cheating and betrayal and it comes back to us really hard sooner than later.

Initially it may look as if we are on the right track and making good progress and suddenly we get into some thoughts and we come back crashing down in our progress. So now you start doubting yourself - if is it really possible to get over an affair. The honest answer to this question is a YES. But you need a lot of patience and commitment to get to that stage and along with that you need to know some basic things on how to handle yourself and your husband.

Below are some of the techniques and tips that will help you heal yourself and your relationship that will help you to get over the affair once and for all for good.

Stop obsessing about each and every detail of the affair:

This is very important and the first step towards getting over the cheating and the affair. If we keep thinking about all the things related to the cheating, we will never be able to make any significant progress. But at times we may feel that we can’t help our self. WE may say that - “Though I really want to get over the affair, certain images in my mind takes me back to thinking about the affair”. I completely understand your situation and the state of mind.

But here is the hard truth. None of this is going to help you in any way.

Once you feel that you have got all the information you feel you need about your husband’s cheating, LET IT GO.

Remember the simple truth that, most of the men cheat because of the way they are feeling about themselves. If some women can make him feel important, appreciated and admired, then he is quite vulnerable. So you need to first start addressing these issues.

A large percentage of men regret their affair a lot and wish to get back to their wives. It is up to us to fix all the things that let to him cheating on us and get over his affair from my mind and heart.

Make sure your self esteem is not affected by the entire affair:

At times we may start thinking that our husband cheating on us is our entire fault. Please don’t get into this thought process. Not only this affects your self esteem a lot but also it affects your recovery process a lot. Never ever feel that you are not worth it.

Fix all the issues and make sure the cheating does not happen again:

Make a commitment to yourself that you will take all the necessary steps and make all the changes in yourself to make sure that you don’t present any chances for him to cheat on you again. Remember this is a continuous process.

You and your husband need to understand the exact reasons that led to the affair and take all the necessary STEPS  TOGETHER.

Most of the time the cheating is because your husband may think that he is not being understood and appreciated by you. Make sure that he doesn’t feel this way anymore if this is the reason.
Remember for any marriage to be successful and happy both the partners should feel happy, fulfilled, understood and appreciated.

If all these things are there in your married life, there is no reason why someone will look elsewhere to get their needs met.

I am VERY sure that once you and your partner understand all these things and work on them on a regular basis, your marriage or relationship will surely be better than before.

After a couple of months I am sure you will feel that your marriage is stronger than ever after your husband’s affair. And you will no longer worry that your husband will cheat on you again.